About Me
Take a Breath
I am an accredited abuse and trauma healing facilitator, qualified counsellor and teacher with over nineteen years of experience in supporting adults, young people and children who have experienced childhood and adulthood abuse, whether that is directly or through witnessing the abuse. I have successfully supported a great number of people privately and within educational environments, overcome and manage a diverse range of issues stemming from their trauma.
I offer one-to-one sessions to those who have experienced an abuse or trauma environment either a s a child or adult. I also work with non-abusive parents or guardians, enabling them to understand their own trauma as well as their child’s.
About SafeSpace
Having worked in counselling, education and domestic violence for many years, I realised there was a lack of specific support for those who have experienced an abusive and traumatic childhood.
I began to notice a commonality with the people I supported who displayed the same behaviours and emotions such as anger, violence, anxiety, fear, and apathy. As we worked together, they all began to speak about the traumatic and abusive backgrounds they had experienced. Most of them had not previously spoken of their trauma, due to fearing any associated stigma and so were bravely trying to navigate through life as best as they could in the only way they knew how.
For adults and young people, I knew that in order to truly help them resolve any current or presenting issues we needed to at least acknowledge their past experiences and recognise how this was continuing to impact their current patterns of behaviour, emotions and thoughts. For children, it was not necessary to revisit their trauma but important for them to learn new patterns of behaviour and trust and so safespacetalk was created.
About Sessions
At safespacetalk you will be involved in creating your healing journey from the very beginning, with the opportunity to discuss where you currently are, your current belief system and what you are hoping to achieve. A healing journey will then be created to help you achieve the best outcomes for you. A journey you are comfortable with as this is your healing after all. Furthermore, as your healing journey progresses, you will have the opportunity to add to it or make changes as you notice thoughts and old patterns of behaviour, which once held you back on a daily basis now beginning to shift and change.
Unlike traditional therapies, it is not always necessary to revisit the abuse and trauma in detail as at times this can do more harm than good. The trauma is already there with you and impacting your life long after the events happened. It’s about recognising continuing behaviour patterns such as a lack of connection, how and why you keep repeating the same mistakes and wondering why unhealthy relationships keep appearing in your life. Recognising links, learned patterns of thoughts and behaviours in yourself which resonate and make sense to you will empower you.
I absolutely know for sure that it is possible have a happy healthy life after experiencing abuse and trauma. If you are here reading this you must have some hope or belief that it is possible too. You may have already tried therapy and found it to be unhelpful and so think you are incapable of being helped, believing that it is just the way things are for you. This is not the case. Those who have experienced trauma and abuse have brains which are wired primarily for protection and so it is not surprising that traditional therapies often do not work. Having a once size fits all approach is like giving everyone the same set of exercises and expecting them all to have exactly the same outcomes, regardless of what their age or weight was to begin with.
It can feel so upsetting, frustrating and annoying, knowing that you have talents, abilities and gifts but unable to trust and afraid of letting others in but yet at the same time wishing you could. Often developing unhealthy coping habits and possibly addictions to press down your emotions and escape from your reality.
I work with....
Adults
Many people decide to address their abuse and trauma in adulthood. Having lived a large part of their life not feeling connected, as if something were missing, they decide to take the brave step to reclaim their life.
I have over nineteen years of experience with supporting adults who have experienced trauma and abuse. This is often after many years of believing they were managing and coping reasonably well, only to realise yet again the pattern of self-sabotaging behaviour has reared its ugly head.
Another abusive relationship, broken friendships, feeling not good enough or on the outside as if you do not matter, wondering what you are doing wrong. All of these experiences commonly stem from childhood abuse and trauma.
Do you seem to sabotage or shy away from commitment but yet desire it at the same time? You are not alone, many people who have experienced trauma and abuse understandably have these behaviour patterns and feelings. It is not too late for you to have a brighter more connected future with better relationships.
Young people
I have over nineteen years’ experience of working with young people with complex trauma, who over a long period of time have learned NOT to trust. These safety barriers are hard to breakdown as they are often due to years of feeling let down and so have become their coping mechanism.
For many, the world has become an unsafe place in which they have learned to adapt, often hiding their real self by outwardly displaying a tough exterior to friends and authority figures, as a form of armour. A fear of being seen as weak or
vulnerable. Alternatively, they may have become very introverted, only speaking when they are asked to or need to, as it may have felt safer not to be seen or heard.
It can be very difficult for them to open up to anyone, so building a trust relationship is key. They may act hostile to test whether you will remain consistent in your manner toward them.
It is vital for their future that any issues related to their abuse and trauma are addressed, in order for them to fully experience healthy, happy and connected lives.
Children
I have supported many children who have been traumatised and abused, often by those they trusted. This can leave a child feeling unable to trust or make sense of their emotions. They may suffer from nightmares, bedwetting and attachment issues.
At school, they may have anxiety, often in the guise of stomach aches or trouble concentrating, because they do not feel safe or are worried about whether their non -abusive caregiver is safe. They could also be hyper-vigilant to noises and uncomfortable in certain surroundings or room layouts.
An abused or traumatised child may still legally have to have contact with an abusive caregiver and so feel frightened which may manifest itself as divided loyalties, fear, confusion, or even anger that his or her experience isn't the same as their friends and has not lived up to the storybooks about family life.
At safespacetalk they will build a trust relationship where they can feel safe and enjoy their therapeutic sessions. Sessions are are fun, interactive and engaging. Having a safe person who consistently shows up for them, helping them to explore their feelings and fears is key. Siblings often experience the same situation very differently and so sessions are on a one-to-one basis and tailored to the needs of each child.
I am CRB checked and work in schools, colleges, homes and online. My sessions are initially on a one-one basis but I also offer sessions for siblings, the non-abusive parent and group work as by understanding the experiences of other family members it often helps to build empathy and therefore stronger connections.
If you would like to book a session or a free fifteen-minute consultation with me please contact me at info@safespacetalk stating suitable days and times to contact you.
